Sorry Anonymous above me, but the code you posted does nothing. All it does is bind all of a page's controls to a "ghost" .click() event, to make firefox stop complaining about ".click() is not a function" (if u wanna see this, bring up the error console while clicking on the link). It never processes your event handler, because it is being redirected to some "lost in space and time" dummy mocked-up event handler (not yours).
Still, nothing will happen when u click it. I know that, because I've tried it before reaching Ben's solution. I was about to give up at 6:25pm this evening, after struggling with it a whole day.

Thanks a lot Ben, for this REAL solution you provided (especially, the second workaround) - it was staring me in the face the entire time, and I didn't think of scripting it that way. Doh...